Feeling Pressure

The Pressure I am having at the moment has been biggest ever in my life. I suppose to be feeling exciting for finish my first degree which i thought is the a great achievement and milestone in my life. But I cannot feel any excitments at all whereas the pressure is building up everyday. Not able to get a job, not even be invited to attend interview makes me feel frustrating. I will give few more monthsfor job hunting, and will fuck off if nothing happens.

I can't talk my stuff to anyone else in student village, there is no one I can fully trust, none of them, especially the guy lives next door. I can't really make friends in the village. Well!!!! maybe one or two, the others are just a normal persons. I don't think I would keep in touch with them when I leave this place.There are a lot of gossip people in the village, especially in chinese comunity. Gossip flies between them and it never ends. I fed up with it. I stopped making friend with chinese students and went to live with local students in my second year here in Swansea. It was the happiest time ever the time in Swansea. This year is my last year study in University, I deciced to live with Chinese student again, but I think It was a wrong decision, they are still who they are.

 One day, one of my friends sent me an application which calls 'best friend'. I took it seriouly when it required me to choose the list of my best friends but I didn't know why I did that. I went throught the entire friend list few times, I could only pick two names and they are not a student in Swansea University. Maybe I am old enough to have a generation grap between us.

How can i be outstanding in the middle of peoples? I know there are many people in the queue. Shall I able to be considered as your first choice in the quene. But what i want to say is that it is not about standard or a test they have to pass, However, I will seek as high as i could in order to be your shelter, if someone being annoying.